North by Northeast ‘5 - Sonmarg To Leh’

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Sonmarg – Drass – Mulbekh – Nurla Camp - Leh
--------------------------------------------
Distance this period: 354.66 km Total Distance: 1507.40 km

Sonmarg – 0 km (Day 16 & 17)
Drass – 65.05 km (Day 18)
Mulbekh – 103.12 km (Day 19)
Camp Nurla – 101.15 km (Day 20)
Leh – 85.34 km (Day 21)

There was no hope of road opening next day too. I headed to army canteen for breakfast, by now everybody knew me as a freak cyclist; they smiled enquired if I was doing alright. For two days I was like a guest there.

Outside I chit chatted with truck drivers, listened their wild stories of bear encounter in the region. They advised me not to camp in open till I reach Kargil.

After two days of rest I was ready to take on slushy, foggy, chilly, showery, yes! The Mighty ZojiLa!

Foggy morning, Amarnath Yatra camp below

Road to ZojiLa pass..

Initial climb was good; then some up, started dirt slippery road. Switchbacks after switchbacks I started pushing the bike, by 11:00am I was at the top. Bad surface continues till Gumri, road is tarted after that till Matiyan, then again bad surface till Drass. Met a hotel owner from my own state, he shared some good stories of the area like how locals celebrate 6-7 months of snow, no connection with the world outside. Drass
Kms covered - 65.05
Total expense - 680/-

Then a clear view.. ZojiLa and Yatra camp below.

Greenery strats after the top..

Nice road.. at the end the village Matiyan. Kids surrounded me smiling, I was the only one eating.

It’s a great road till Kargil, some small climb, a little bit of bad patch then all the way a smooth ride to Mulbekh.

At Mulbekh I stayed at J&K PWD rest house, met the caretakere by accident. Booked a room, while I was trying to adjust in my room a young fellow came, we started chatting randomly. Early morning when I saw that fellow again when I went there to pay the bill. I think he was gay.
Kms covered - 103.12
Total expense - 510/-

Kargil approaching.

A selfie on the road.

Entering the land of Buddha.

Just after Mulbekh, there is one small settlement where I had my breakfast. From here the climb begins - Namika La. Today I was to climb two passes – NamikaLa & FotuLa. It’s a gentle lovely climb to NamikaLa. Met a solo German cyclist at the top. The ups and downs continue to FotuLa. The descent is fun and amazingly steep down on some curves. Then all the way down to Lamayuru, Khaltse, and 6 km ahead of Nurla, I camped near road workers camp.
Kms covered - 101.15
Total expense - 200/-

Early morning met a solo cyclist from Hungry, headed Zanskar.

Saspol, then up to Basgo plains and afterwards beautiful down to Nimmu, on this section I achieved like 70 kmph speed. Loved it. Had lunger at Pather Sahib Gurudwara, no, no night stay accommodation available there they said.

After passing the Leh airport, I was kind of scared due to tiredness, also didn’t see any staying accommodation. Then I met Jai - a cyclist from Banglore and he said he know some place. Lovely.
Gomang Guest House.
Kms covered - 85.34
Total expense - 455/-

A lovely gentle climb to NamikaLa

NamikaLa Top..

A lovely climb.. a view to die for..

Peddled All the way up...

A selfie on the road... approaching another top

FotuLa top..

My favorite.. I sat there viewing this for like ages..

The moonland.. Lamayuru.

The road... around magnetic hills

Getting Leh'd today yaayyyy..

North by Northeast ‘4 - Rest day at Sonmarg’

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-----------------------------------------
Distance this period: 0.00 km Total Distance: 1152.74 km

Sonmarg – 0 km (forced rest of 2 days)

I was enjoying watching tv after a long time while it rained outside. I checked-out pretty early in the morning and to my surprise a barrier was put up there by police; no vehicle was allowed to pass. Damn! What to do now? I was out of the hotel already; roads were blocked from both the sides and there was no estimate of clearance!

I locked The X near a chicken shop and walked some 2 km to check out the landslide; sure enough it was massive. Yatris were struck too. Army came to our rescue; they put up some tents for stay and arranged food.

Hotel prices went rocketed high; the room I was staying previous night for 500 bucks was already booked for 1500 today. A perfect business opportunity.

Police was no help, Army allowed to camp the other side.

This is what landslide looked like. continuous rain and slush made it impossible to even walk.

So i joined the queue for food. offered by army.

Army came as a big help, camped there for two beautiful nights.

Beautiful Sonmarg.

And the evening was lovely.

Then I was surrounded by lots of trucks and drivers and their horrible stories

Last day @Sonmarg it was beautiful stay of 2 days farewell shot from my camp.

North by Northeast ‘3 - Roadside Dhaba Near Udhampur to Sonmarg’

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-----------------------------------------------------
Roadside Dhaba – Udhampur – Ramban – Toofani Nalla Camp – Kangan - Sonmarg

Distance this period: 343.51 km Total Distance: 1152.74 km

Udhampur – 24.37 km (Day 11)
Ramban – 84.98 km (Day 12)
Toofani Nalla Camp – 55.06 km (Day 13)
Kangan – 134.90 km (Day 14)
Sonmarg – 44.20 km (Day 15)

It was a rainy night at the dhaba, my bags were wet but then it was going to be a short ride today. Found a hotel in Udhampur, washed The X, cloths, myself and rested whole day, it was raining anyway. Stay - Hotel Sasan.
Kms covered - 24.37
Total expense - Rs. 765/-

Laundry day at Udhampur.

It rained on n off and in the morning too. I went out to have tea, owner tells me about the blockage after Patni-Top and traffic wasn’t allowed to pass from here itself. I saw an opportunity to have fun on the empty roads. I started in the rain, passing the long line of vehicles.

It was a yatra season (Amarnath Yatra) so traffic was heavy and continuous rain made it worse. I was gaining elevation as soon as I left Udhampur. But the good thing was no traffic, pleasant weather, and roadside Bhandaras. Made it to the top pretty early, so decided to continue on the downhill; a bad decision. Traffic was blocked for two days from both the sides due to a landslide; as I was enjoying the foggy breeze on downhill, something worse was waiting for me. Traffic was open by then, a huge jam, slippery slush, and long array of bloody trucks honking shouting like they just got released from prison or something. One hell of a ride, made it to Ramban. Booked one unmaned hotel.
Kms covered - 84.98
Total expense - 610/-

On the way to Patni-Top. a beautiful gentle climb.

When you get tired on a climb, all you do is experiment with various stuff. Trying photoshoot.

 

After the slushy ride on Patni-Top downhill. Dangerous yet fun.

Now I was in a territory where you see army everywhere. Banihal. Then on my way to Jawahar Tunnel, I met one guy on cycle going to Amarnath cave. He started from Jabalpur and in 25 days he made it here, he was staying in temples, Lungers/Bhandaras. So it was going to be my first stay on Lungers/Bhandaras at Toofani Nalla camp meant for Yatris, just before the tunnel. Though we tried to pass the tunnel but army turned us back; it wasn’t possible to hold the heavy traffic for us.
Kms covered - 55.06
Total expense - 50/-

I wanted to skip the touristy Kashmir & head straight towards Kangan, but the view of Dal Lake was so inviting that I ended up circling the entire lake.

Beautiful sunny day towards Banihal. Sky so clean, lovely.

Next morning we crossed the tunnel, beautiful Kashmir Valley was waiting for us other side. One could clearly feel the difference; Jammu side was bright, sunny and Kashmir was cloudy, a little bit warm. Downhill starts just after the tunnel, again a huge traffic was there. At Anantnag (he called it Chhota Pakistan) departed from the guy and continued to Pampore, then Srinagar, circled the beautiful Dal Lake. Made it to Kangan for the night.
Kms covered - 134.90
Total expense - 630/-

Its been 9 days of ride without a rest day, so it was going to be a short ride to Sonmarg today; where I decided to spend one extra day, resting. but it took ages to cover those 44 km. In between the ride, I washed my bike 'The X' on a small river, took a nap by roadside; a sunny day today. I needed a rest now, 9 days of continuous ride was no fun. Finally Sonmarg, booked a room for bloody rs. 700/- after much bargaining.
Kms covered - 44.20
Total expense - 890/-

It rained again, the owner tells me road is blocked from both the sides of Sonmarg. A disaster waiting for me.

Washed The X on this chilly stream.

And after the wash, rested and got bored pretty soon so experimented with the camera.

Nearing Sonmarg. And so tired and messed up.

North by Northeast ‘2 - Kangra to Roadside Dhaba Near Udhampur’

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-------------------------------------------
Kangra – Dandiyara Bungalow HPPWD rest house – Papri Camp – Basohli – Roadside Dhaba

Distance this period: 318.55 km Total Distance: 809.23 km

Kangra – 0 km (Day 6)
Dandiyara Bungalow HPPWD rest house – 98.24 km (Day 7)
Papri Camp – 52.82 km (Day 8 )
Basohli – 55.62 km (Day 9)
Roadside Dhaba – 111.87 km (Day 10)

Rest day at Kangra was without any events, just rested in hotel room, washed bike & cloths.
Kms covered - 0
Total expense - Rs. 575/-

Resumed next day ride pretty early, after 13 kms took right turn at Shahpur on a freshly tarred all uphill road. Nice view from the top, very less traffic all the way up and then down to Sihunta. Touch the bridge after that bad surface starts to Lahru, then road up to Kakira, follow the steep down road to main road, Tanuhatti and 2 kms up to Dandiyara Bungalow HPPWD rest house on Banikhet road. I was not sure about this rest house, one gentleman told me about this @Kakira over a cup of tea. Today was one hell of a ride, spent more than 10 hrs on the saddle. Stay at Dandiyara Bungalow HPPWD rest house.
Kms covered - 98.24
Total expense - Rs. 600/-

Banikhet is further 10 km up, sharp left turn at the check post and you are on a fun ride. Khairi, zooming all the way down 23 kms, hit bridge, hit another bridge and you are into J&K. Police check post there, had a long chat with them. They advised not to go towards Bani Sarthal due to militancy, rain, road blockage etc. suggested Dhar Road. Registered my details and thanked them, packed some fruits from nearby stall, 14 km uphill ride to Papri was waiting for me. Tea at the top and took right towards Bani ignoring all advises policemen gave. But surface wasn’t good; after 2 km I gave up on the road and camped by the road side. Wow! first day of camping, fearful & excited. Kept my knife close by. Stay - camp near Papri.
Kms covered - 52.82
Total expense - Rs. 105/-

It rained all night, gave me a little window to pack my stuff in the morning. It rained all throughout the day; caused two back to back punctures on front, I was zooming on nice downhill surface couldn’t figure out the bad patches on those numerous water crossings. Made it to Busohli by 2 pm. Phone stopped working today and it won't until I hit HP again on other side of the hill. Hotel - Hotel Ambica near bus stand Busohli.
Kms covered - 55.62
Total expense - Rs. 390/-

I was on a link road today so as expected its a single lane bad road till Mahanpur t-point; where I joined nice Dhar road, less traffic, all downhill. Crossed a bridge, ordered food at roadside dhaba and stayed there for the night. Cyclists love freebies. Stay - Vaishno Dhaba by roadside.
Kms covered - 111.87
Total expense - Rs. 140/-

First view of Kangra

First view of Kangra.

 Lovely road, perfect weather for 

Lovely road, perfect weather for riding.

It was a tough climb to Bharwain from Mubarikpur.

Beautiful climb. I was panting on this climb, stopped and saw so many eyes staring on me from this bus.

Now it will be a routine; climb the hill to top and let the air soak all sweat on zooming down, hit the bridge and repeat again.

Greenery around

Road passing through small villages

A different kind of traffic.

No traffic road, just keep your eyes on the road and free the bike.

Took SH 28. I was thinking to go Chamba via Jot and continue to Sach Pass but looking at the weather turned towards Tanuhatti.

They would wait for me and then chase barking like maniac. As soon as I stop they too stoped and look around. And start again...

Tough climb to Banikhet. Spot the HPPWD rest house at the left

On the way up to Papri. Even this guy is wondering what the hell is wrong with me, why sweat when you can sit inside the car and have a beer.

 

Khairi.. Other side of the river is J&K.

Busohli approaching.

Waiting for rain to subsidies some.

North by Northeast ‘1 - Delhi to Kangra’

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Delhi – Karnal – Ambala – Nalagarh – Amb – Kangra
July 2nd to 6th 2015
Distance this period: 490.68km Total Distance: 490.68km

Original plan was to leave Delhi on 1st but then planning is like journey itself. Couldn’t leave on 1st, there were so many memories to leave behind. Finally 4 o’clock next morning I was all set to leave.

First day first show, made it to Karnal on flat road, rode 145.53 kms (longest, record of the tour) in about 8 hrs on a damn hot day. At Karnal bus stand found one hotel, called Hotel Dreemz. It was a long ride today and crashed after dinner.
Kms covered - 145.53
Total expense - Rs. 990/-

Second day; flatish road continued. nothing unusual. Before Ambala cantt. witnessed something cheary, army mens going and coming out of the bushes. On close inspection found some ladies down there doing their business. ;) LalKurti is the area in Ambala Cantt where you get cheap hotels, I found one, Hotel Sunstar.
Kms covered - 74.49
Total expense - Rs. 600/-

On third day I was riding on foot of the hills, which was pleasant. In Himachal, you must try tasty kadi-chawal on a local dhaba or roadside tin-shed eateries manned by a woman. Made it to Nalagarh, Hotel Shrikant.
Kms covered - 93.00
Total expense - Rs. 660/-

At Nalagarh, got news of Sach pass being open for traffic and also came the first change on original route plan, instead of going towards Swarghat, wished to visit Nangal Dam. So, continued towards Anandpur Sahib, famous Gurudwara. Had lunch there, the lady at the counter was not happy that it took me 4 days of cycling to reach here. Nice. Then it rained heavily. Found one raodside dhaba at Amb and a night stay there.
Kms covered - 96.21
Total expense - Rs. 370/-

Today was 5th day of riding. Lots of ups and down, the killing climb of Mubarikpur, had fruit chat at the fruit chat corner. Skipped Bharwain; I had promised a friend that I will meet him at his home but his nummber was not reachable so skipped. Made it to Kangra. Hotel Jai Maa.
Kms covered - 81.45
Total expense - Rs. 670/-

After 5 days of continuous riding, took a rest day at Kangra. Its my Birthday today.
Kms covered - 0.00
Total expense - Rs. 575/-

[caption id="" align="aligncenter" width="640"] Photo-shoot of the gear[/caption]

[caption id="" align="aligncenter" width="640"] One of my such nights to come. for RS. 200/- it was a deal. The best way to find a cheap hotel room is to ask around for Bus stand or Railway station.[/caption]

[caption id="" align="aligncenter" width="640"] After two days of humid and hot ride, now I was headed to foot of HP hills.[/caption]

[caption id="" align="aligncenter" width="640"] First change, headed towards Bharatgarh, to Kiratpur Sahib. Placed nice parantha at dhaba, the lady at the counter offered it for free.[/caption]

[caption id="" align="aligncenter" width="640"] The X resting.[/caption]

[caption id="" align="aligncenter" width="640"] Some Gurudwara on the route[/caption]

[caption id="" align="aligncenter" width="640"] After crossing the Nangal Dam, some climb and back to HP. Crossed the border and entered Una.[/caption]

[caption id="" align="aligncenter" width="640"] Roads were beautiful, so was the scenery.[/caption]

[caption id="" align="aligncenter" width="640"] Tunnel Time zz[/caption]

[caption id="" align="aligncenter" width="640"] Litchi time. Refreshing after such a hard ride.[/caption]

Epic Bike Trip - North by Northeast

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Its been a year; more than a year actually, but as they say 'better late than never’ so publishing the travelogue here now.

It took about a year of planning this tour. It was one big plan but there were hell lot of changes in route like cut short the trip by 2 months, returned from Guwahati by train etc. etc.

Planning phase –

Tracing the foot of Himalayas was a long dream; this circuit was due for a long long time.
Planning took almost a year, reading logs, blogs and checking google maps, making notes on kms to be done per day, staying options etc. etc. In Feb informed office and July 1st was set to freak-out.

List --
Bike ‘The X’
Racks 2 (front & back)
Computer 1
Bottle cage 2
Mudguards
Lock 2
Helmet 1

Carrriers
Set of rear panniers
Handlebar bag
Rear underseat bag
Plastic bag 3

Tools & Spare
Allen key set 1
Tubes 4
Puncture Kit 1
Pump 1
Tape 1
Gear Cable 1
Brake Cable 1
Stiching Kit 1
Plastic Ziplock Bags 10
Chain lube 1
Small knife 1
Spare tyre 1
Front light 2

Camping
Sleeping Bag 1
Tent (2 Person) 1

Cloths
Riding shorts 3
Shorts 1
Lowers 2
T shirts (Half sleeves) 5
Shirts 1
Arm Warmer
Waterproof Jacket 2
Waterproof Lower 1
Socks Pairs 2
Under Garments 3
Towel 1
Shoes 1 Pair
Sandals 1 pair
Warm Jacket 1
Hat 1
Hand Gloves Full 1
Goggles 1
Spare glasses 1

Photography
Gopro camera
Camera Olympus
Camera & Phone Charger
Cellphone 2
Solar Charger 1

Medical
Bandage 5
Volini 1

Misc. Items
Toothbrush 1
Toothpaste 1
Comb 2
Compass 1
Voter ID card
Photocopies of ID & permits
Maps
Books 3
Pen 2
Notebook 1

The Man -

The Man

The Machine & The Material

The Machine. Surly Cross Check; I named it "The X"

The Plan - Part1

Route Map- part 1.
This idea of mapping came from http://ultralightcycling.blogspot.in

The Plan - Flip side

Route Map- part 2. Thanks to http://ultralightcycling.blogspot.in for the valuable inputs on light bicycle touring.

First Motor-Bike

Finally, got a vehicle that runs on motor, oil and what not. Happy to own a part of Indian history; as the maker claim it to be, the Bajaj V 15. first ride.

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Fading intuition

Last night too was no good just like previous one; I tried to read book “Steppenwolf” by Hermann Hesse, and with that came my own reflection of my living, past actions and foolishly trying to relate that.

I got this intense feeling to talk to my father, which I couldn’t; being late night, it felt like ages then somehow I was able to move the my own thoughts on myself. It was like an intuition like knowing beforehand that something is going to happen or has already happened which I am not aware of but I am getting inside feelings or like someone signaling me or intuition what we call generally. All was well though, looks like this intuition is also fading with the age.

Well, the thing is I have been living in this room as a prisoner; it has no light, no cellphone coverage let alone internet or stuff like that. It’s been over a year now living like this. The book was like my own reflection- isolated and psychotic.

So I decided to open my arms again, socialize, get active on Facebook again, staring on other peoples life and then comparing with my own, moving ahead. I already have this blog to dump all my negativity, Twitter too comes handy sometime.

I really need to create some awesomeness around me.

Something like this is planned; let’s hope it goes well to start with.

Before that I need to finish this book (the writer claimed that it was highly misunderstood, which is exciting). Meanwhile this is the fourth book I am reading written by Hermann Hesse (kind of my favorite now).

"Mountains retained its favorite child"

“Challenge is what enthralls me and free spirit is what I exhibit. “Never Give Up, Never Give In!” is a phrase that works miracles for me. “Courage and Conviction” has been a way of expression of my self.” --  Malli Mastan Babu

Last night I was sleepless, my eyes were wide open as late as 2 am, the image of lifeless tent in Andes was alive in front of my eyes flashing like anything. My heart was desperately waiting for his soul to come and talk to me, though Mountains retained its favorite child, the mountaineer Malli Mastan Babu was quite awake in my head. He was my hero, without doubt. He conquered the final climb too. I pray and hope for peace, nothing more.

 

Later this Year

Route

Guwahati Half 2014

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Green Valley bus was ready at 0430 to take us to the race start point from IIT campus. By the time the bus started it was already 0530. Then it was the race start point. Unlike other races they started registration giving bib number, which was strange. 21K run started around 0700, early morning sun, running by the Brahmaputra river was a unique experience. Since there was no timing chip and everything was manual. As per my own calculations I finished within 0230 bus. Overall race was okay, water glucose points were at every km mark, a running ambulance too. But medical facility on round was lacking. I asked for spray as my knee started giving me pain after 15 km mark, but there was none.

Apart from that a good run, in a different location: in city of eastern Jones.

Airport was some 24 kms from the run finishing point and auto wallah charged me 400 bucks for an hour ride.

Flight was delayed by 30 min, however, was able to cover up half of it. A walk and bus ride; I was at my place.

Year 2014 it was!!

Last day of 2014, and it’s time to look back to analyze the 365 days that just gone in a flash; the memory of year starting is so fresh inside, it’s like yesterday; literally so frustrating the starting was: the ending too is no more better. 2014 bought a new perspective, a different dimension in my thinking, in my way of life.

Didn’t do much travelling, unlike last year; however managed to slip myself on Medaram: Sammakka Saralamma Jatara and then Trip report – Hyderabad – Ooty trip, celebrated my birthday on Bus Trip: Shimla – Reckong Peo, a short trip to north-east was the last trip.

Coming to the run; finished Guwahati Half on 31st Aug 2014 and CRPF Half Marathon 2014 in high pain and desperation, apart from that no major cycling trip or anything like that.

And in that depressed phase said Bye bye Facebook after humiliating 4-5 months of chat with a bastard, whom I still curse, you will not have a good life; that’s only thing I ask from the fucking God!

One fine day my Laptop gone. One bloody broke into the house, twice, and took away everything of mine, leaving this motionless body that I am still carrying around to make fool of myself.

What expectation I have for New Year, you ask? Well; for be frank, I have no fucking idea. Let the year to come – will face you face to face dear year 2015, aa to sahii..

Dilli ki Sardi.

Finally; winter has spread its arms around Delhi, I can feel it early in the mornings’ when I try to foolishly convince myself to get up from the warmth of blanket; making false promises to myself that 5 min more, 1 more minute and things like that, but unable to.

And what else; nothing worth is happening, days are passing just like that and with age I am becoming more fearful, nervous about everything. Hope has vanished just like fart in the air, as they say. No curiosity, no energy left; what’s gonna happen next, I have no clue. The big ‘suicide ride plan’ is dusting somewhere in the corner; no matter how eagerly I am looking forward to it, it’s not making any sense, infact my own act, my own self is not making any sense. I just look at the skin and structure of my own hands and wonder what this is! The trembling hasn’t stopped, has increased instead. Fuck!

Yesterday we lost the cricket match. And tomorrow’s appointment at Shroff eye center for LASIK gonna make a big hole in my pocket. The finance for the dusting plan is in trouble. Two exams are coming up too, if I didn’t clear any of those life’s gonna go hell and will have to revive the dusting plan, if not.

And, I was a coward and still am, to letting you go. I can’t stop thinking about you, not even for a second.

Current read

Just landed two books – Invisible Cities by Italo Calvino and lean In by Sheryl Sandberg.

I am going to start with Invisible Cities first and the other one is to gift but before I do that I wanted to have a look at the book, just flipping around some pages would suffice I guess.

If you ask, what was tempting to buy these books, well, I watched the famous TED talk of this lady and wanted to have that on print. And for the Invisible, again, I read somewhere the last lines of the book and thought to go for the journey as well.

Time Metro & Thoughts

Today, I was coming to office on Metro and looking outside of the window pane, weirdness’ came inside, let’s call it Time Metro. I related this with our lives, every station is like a phase of life or say, an opportunity to do, I don’t know, let’s say to do something, act on something so that we can proceed to a new destination. If we miss a station or opportunity, either wait for next station which is some time apart or curse yourself for not acting on the presented opportunity. The train is running like time is and outside scenery keeps changing, greeneries are good times, barren land are thinking phases, ultimate goal is to reach the destination called death.

So, on that travel path that we followed, what matters? This world is just a metro compartment. Whatever is outside that will keep changing and altering that is not in our hands, which I tried to foolishly, now that’s the only thing left I can do, look outside and do nothing.

Last Sunday was fun though, primarily coz I slept most of the time which gave me less time to think (yes, I want to avoid thinking as much as I can) and other half of the day was spent roaming around India Gate. First I went to Indira Gandhi National Center for Arts @ Janpath to witness the joys of North East. The North East Carnival Festival was on, Sunday being the second last day, the food songs paintings’ music so many bands from that part of our country, it actually was great to just sit there and watch all that. Someday, will pay a visit to that part, I promised myself.

Then small an hour walk crossing India Gate, I found myself at Purana Qila. The South Asian Bands festival was going to end today. So many bands from south Asian countries were there to perform conducted by Seher & External Affairs Ministry (annually). It started at 0600PM, Morcha, Afgani Band was first, and then next was from Maldives. Donn Bhat & group was next, the music was kind of fresh, refreshing applaud from crowed was enough to prove that. Nepali band Mukti & Revival was a bomb, the crowed really went crazy on his tunes. He was the man of night I guess.

And last band was The Success from France, I heard some tracks making my way back to the matro station Pragati Maidan.

Laptop gone.

Some bloody thief broke into my house last Saturday and stole my Dell Laptop with 1GB Seagate external hard disk. And with this I lost everything all over again, thousands of memories that I captured, so many documents I had written, compiled from different sources, all gone.

Police refused to file report; they wanted it to be written as misplaced to avoid trouble for them. But then there are ways to do that and finally I did file to avoid any misuse. I don’t expect these bloody cops to take any action on that but you – the thief- whoever you are, you did wrong. Laptop is nothing to me man, you would have asked for it I never say no buddy but I need all my data back. You broke into a miserable person to make more n more miserable and desperate.

Accepted all the grieving and I deserve it.

Post Diwali Thoughts.

Though I didn’t see remains of crackers outside the big black gate, I’m hoping you had a good Diwali yesterday. And yea, I expected some messages from you but there was nothing. Anyways I’m not blaming you for that; this is what I chose, no matter how much I curse myself for that, I cannot change the things the way they are now. I don’t even know if you got my gift. So helpless, all I can do is pray for you and curse the fake boyfriend soul. And I know none of these will have any impact on either life, that’s for me that one day I will have my dues.

After yesterdays Diwali post, I went through some interesting blogs some citing how Diwali celebration has changed, some saying if we should celebrate it at all and mostly were wish blogs.

One blog got my attention; the way we celebrate it today. I still remember my childhood days when we used to clean and paint our houses with clay called Kamet, and then grind some rice to make rangoli. Before making rangoli we used to mark tilak to our cows, buffalos and all pets; there was a procedure for that, first do pooja, take a steel glass, and dip the rim of that glass on wet grinded rice put that on forehead of all the pets. The circle was a mark of purity. Rangoli art called ‘Aipan’, a traditional way of designing every doorstep, nobody knows that today. It used to be like that, gifting and exchanging sweets n all, cleaning decorating organizing a small market called Mela.

There was another entry saying there is nothing called Diwali. All are myths and creation of Brahmin mind; to keep their superiority in caste system. All that Ramayan, Mahabharat, Ved, Puran are just made up stories to keep the superiority intact. Pushyamitra Sung, the king of Sung Empire was used as a weapon and Buddhism was dusted by cruel activities.

So there are so many stories, myths but as I said in my previous post- we need a reason to do something. Whatever the tradition is behind these celebrations does anyone cares? I don’t think so. Instead of traditional Dia n flowers, we buy Chinese electric garland, market has flooded with Chinese crackers. China has given us so much in recent years like no one has. They have cheap alternative of everything and we love to buy it.

Bottom line is: change is irresistible and is bound to happen. What we need is a pure heart, care for humankind respect for each other.

I think I should stop biking to office. The more I cycle, more I think about everything. Well, I should go back to work now, plenty of SLA to achieve, so many activities to cover. Till then – keep fucking everyone’s life and you fake boyfriend bastard, I know you must be having great fucking sessions but remember your life will be hell.

Diwali it is..

Happy Diwali everyone.

On this day of lightning, fire crackers, celebrations, gifting sweets cloths and putting on best attire of our wardrobes, this day definitely brings something to every one’s life. No matter what the cause is; may be for someone Lord Ram came home after a long exile fighting the evil, bringing peace to the masses or may be for someone Pandavas came home after 12 years of exile or may be some Goddess appeared from the ocean during the Sagar Manthan who on this day went on merrying some Lord Shiva etc etc.. As many myths/believes/reasons to celebrate the day for so many religious communities we have around us. But one thing is common; atleast for a day everybody cleans the surroundings’ lights up every corner of living place distribute sweets amongst the loved ones and more importantly a feeling of love inside every heart pops up on this day.

So, whatever your believes are celebrate this day, open up your arms for a hug and say I love you! May be gift something to your loved ones. Remember; we need reasons to do something and this day gives us the opportunity.

-With Love

In Love with Meg Ryan!

‘…but there is dream of someone’ the dialogue and her eyes! Each time I see the movie, I fall in love with this lady. Yes, I have watched the movie ‘You’ve Got Mail’ over 3 digits time by now and haven’t got bored yet. The plot, the chemistry and this lovely lady, there are so many scenes worth a tone; well I would say the entire movie is eye catching.

I haven’t seen much of her work apart of this movie and last night made me think of putting it on words, the chemistry is superb. The movie made me think again that being good always give you good returns.

The previous post of trust failure was come long back from this post here. What started there didn’t even last 6 months. I cannot blame the fake boyfriend soul entirely, no matter how much I curse, pray bad things, (and I am sure you will not have a peaceful life, the way you made me miserable and lost) fault is somewhere mine too. I was not cautious but then how could I? I was in agony; the bloody hit the right spot and bubble inside me busted like anything.

But no more; the isolation continues, I am hungry all the time, angry all the time, they say weeping heart is a curse but I have no control over it. It will heal with your misery. I am well aware of your conversations and you must be planning to stick his dick in your ass, as you dreamed before, you know.

Anyways coming back, the movie made me order a pair of headsets for myself; and a special gift basket with red roses for my love (lost one?) with XOXO gift voucher my company gifted me a long back. Hope you like it, it’s a surprise, no name, coming your way at your doorstep!!

Should not Trust any Unknown

Never trust an unknown fellow’ this is what I used to heard from elders but I always thought otherwise. If you trust somebody, you are actually giving that fellow a responsibility. In a desperate times when you share you innate desire to someone unknown and what if that someone don’t respect you and what if you in a desperate times share things; who is the culprit? You yourself and the fellow you are sharing things to?

I share things when my gut feeling says it’s worth trusting. And none of the time I was right. I was so desperately fucked up that I shared priceless private moments. The guilt of it is now so heavy on me that first time in life I googled ‘how to kill myself without pain’ and I have been thinking about it all the time. Don’t know what desperate moment will come so heavily in my head that there will be no thinking I am going to let it go.

There is no medium left to convey this to either party but I am aware of it, it’s time to pay for it, killing myself will be injustice to all the wrongs I have done. I deserve slow and painful death.

Thanks to the fellow for blindly pouring my heart out by trusting you and thanks for giving me strength to continue what I’m doing to myself. Not only me, my roots will also pay for it. It’s been a month of total isolation and will go on. Thanks for the encouragement, my wish is with you just like your fake boyfriend met his fate, I am sure you been the cause, you will not have a clean death too.

Many Happy Returns!

It’s your day and it’s your birthday!!! Couldn’t wish you personally or over the call, however I believe you have my text and more importantly my heart sings birthday song for you.

You were the first human soul coming so close to me, even after 8 years of first meeting; the memory is so fresh that I see you holding the cup of tea and making face and at the same time worried about your existence at that place.

Although we are not in talking terms, in fact haven’t converse for last a year and an half. But I know the strength inside you, no matter what; you will make your way. Once again accept my apologies and heartily wishes on this day; May Almighty fill your life you joy pride and happiness. Happy Birthday my friend!! Stay Blessed.

CRPF Half Marathon 2014

Sunday, 12th Oct is the race day, starting JLN stadium - circling india gate - return from jantar mantar.
Just collected the goodie bag kit and bib number is going to be 116.
Well! with no preparation at all this time its going to be another painful day.

It was a mess at the kit distribution. It was supposed to open at 0930 but due to some technical issues 'as per the announcement there' distribution started around 1130 for half marathon category. CRPF was blaming BookMyShow agents and vice versa for the problem.

Those who are looking for directions - get down at JLN stadium gate no 4 > go straight > take left at the gate to CRPF ground and you will see some tents with serial numbers. First you have to get into a queue for your bib number, note down that bib number & serial number. That serial number is the tent you have to get lined for the goodie bag (running bib & chip, t-shirt (XL) and a cap).

Happy Running!!!

EDIT:- Completed the race. timing 024500 hrs.

Bye bye Facebook

It’s raining outside, heavily and am thinking how to go outside to have my lunch. And I see a crowd has gathered near the entrance porch area, enjoying cool breeze from fresh rain, smoking cigarettes. It’s like that’s the way to do it, not like I do fucking go crazy soaking completely in rain.

Anyways, so I had to do it and I did it finally. No Facebook from now! I pasted couple of things here that I posted on my timeline before deleting.

What else? Yes, I have finished the book “Gone Girl” kept me glued and suspense ended with the book, pretty nice plot and narration. Now I have again picked up (it was half finished) the “City of Djjins” about the past of Delhi. Will-Yums (William) exploitation of dark corners of old Delhi ruins.

And the first draft of route is ready. Work is in progress on day to day stuff like elevation gains, expenses etc. Hope I can keep up on things this time.

Big Eyes of Yours!!

When I close mine I see your big eyes
I shut myself where the darkness lies
I see you brighter closure than ever
Melody in my veins n my heart flies


Knock and a strange soul at the door
Witty fool flirts me on the floor
Prying! hoping to fill my empty core
Daydream? an Angel from the skies!

Her words are soft voice dries
No! my dear friend! no more cry
Just close your eyes
And let the water take you high

Vanishes then; no goodbyes
Furious me! riding on empty roads
I heard strange voices
'Hey man! Nice bike there' one cries

I lift my head, see men in lorries
'Cum'on peddle before your spirit dies'
Thinking me is it? but faking smiles
Push up, only to see your big eyes.

She said: Life is Beautiful

A moment
Here this glittering lightning night
Praying amnesia; yet holding tight

Open skies green grass
Laying vexed flipping past


Its
A courage to ask for
A dream to chase for

Live...

Never let anyone say
- Life is beautiful

TWO NOTES

ONE:

No wonder if love takes you higher
Heart gonna rave to make the day brighter
Either it's only a happily thereafter
Or fire of fretful rush to grave down under!!

TWO:

Those yours big 'need you sparkling eyes
Saying you must be doing something right
When holding 'would be betraying hand
Caressing, walking around.
Eager I am; to be known
What happened there in the town!


This son of a bitch,
He talks and takes me there
But leaves me halfway along the shore
Wondering I am; seeker but alone
My promises to him hold me tight
Intuitions my vibes says you did right

The things that I don't have hold on
I heard she has moved on
And pearls of your eyes have drawn
That makes me miserable all the way down
What happened there in the town!

Hypocrite he is, a liar
Says telling me all but the half truth
But me thinks his 'topic s phony
Snaps he sent looks me too shabby
Let me garner more; you just hang on

Don't howl my friend, welcome the dawn
Obliterate whatever happened there in the town!!!

Disc & Thoughts

And I see these 'flower like soft hands
Painted coloured carefully at the ends
Sensational they move n move and invites
Eject me wonder don't wanna go bends!


And this lazy fella around the edges
Bewitching yet hesitant stares of crooked smiles
Am gonna go furious and he sounds knave
Glimpses of eternity his finger searches curves

Have I found the rhythm? That vigor; he asked
Sparking eyes his points a direction and I noted
'That shit ain't cheap but have no holds on'
He resigns saying has lived, have I got hooked?

The night blossoming lazily to adolescence
Achieved dreams and poped-up vogue for some
Past midnight it is; no wagon to carry this body home
Why so thirsty to get drenched of ownhood makes sense

But I see the painted soft flower like hands
Moving body lets shut eyelashes and I touch mine
Eyes sees you, feels your breath caressing my spine
Eject me wakes up as don't wanna go bends!!

My heaven!

No matter how far I go
Feelings don't feel like a magic one,
Beauty of whole world comes to
At a place to please to have fun,
I don't see nothing how high how low
The only thing I remember I know
Nowhere but in your arms is my heaven!!!

Miss you already

Lunch was as usual, nothing new. I enter the second floor office keeping my smart phone inside locker, (pretty stupid company of ours, I know), swipe my card at the gate and flaps spread wide open like thighs opens up to make out. Taking a cup full of hot water from cafeteria I head to my workstation where I have kept small packet of Darjeeling tea bags, pour some sugar and the tea bag dipped into it I go to the window glass pane from where I can see Hyundai care workers shining some fancy cars, wearing all red, working making hand gesturing, talking I guess and I wonder I will be missing all this very soon.

Well, the thing is; something big is coming on my way, next year I think. Initial plans so shhhh.. let’s keep it secret for a moment.

Then, now, I am headed to my workstation and open the desktop window. The first thing is to turn on some music on jango.com, songs runs ‘sweet disposition’ and it makes my heart more wracking like this is it, this will be gone very soon. I already miss you. Miss everything you did for me and hopeless I am, can’t even hold your hand and say let’s get out of this all together. This ego of mine!

I wanna say a lot of things to you, more than ever. Every day I wake up uttering love you a thousand times, prepare dry fruits food items for you (that’s only thing I have as you already know it), filling water bottle carefully so that no dirt gathers around and then you! I think of you; imagine your face full of disgust seeing me, scared eyes looking all around as you made crime being with me, I put everything on bag and rush out as I wanna get out of the room as soon as possible. I can’t see you anymore; I want to but don’t want to.

Wish me luck on this new venture of mine (future would be venture) and hope this will some better.

Guwahati Half on 31st Aug 2014

Itinerary for the Guwahati Half trip-

Date – 27-08-2014 to 31-08-2014.

Delhi (NDLS) to New Jalpaiguri(NJP) – S7, 56. Train# 12502, Departure 23:45, Arrival 00:05.

New Jalpaiguri(NJP) to Kurseong(KGN) – Bus/ Shared taxi etc.

Kurseong(KGN) to Darjeeling (DJ) – 2S1, 11. Train# 52587, Departure 07:00, Arrival 09:45.

Darjeeling (DJ) to Kurseong(KGN) – 2S1, 11. Train# 52588, Departure 16:00, Arrival 18:40.

Kurseong(KGN) to New Jalpaiguri(NJP) – Bus/ Shared taxi etc.

New Jalpaiguri(NJP) to Guwahati(GHY) –S4, 3. Train# 12345, Departure 02:00, Arrival 09:30.

Guwahati(GU) to Delhi(DEL) – Flight# SG 881. Departure 15:40, Arrival 18:10.

Here is the link of Marathon info - http://techniche.org/marathon14/raceinfo.html

Freedom!!

So the flying colors’ everywhere
As we have won it in truest sense!

I see smiling faces here n there
A false proud popping out from cage
As memory encounters the day of rage
Still, the flying colors’ everywhere

‘Freedom was won’ you say and we
Possess the right to seize
That glory and piece of land is mine
I claim, go fuck out of this place

Free now; a lion you are, might urinate
Marking territory, warning not to advance
And now I smell that scent everywhere
Millennium development goals gonna seize

But then the flying colors’ everywhere
As we have won it in truest sense

This half naked kid across the drive
Smiling; puts tricolor on my cycle
Coins; and blurred eyes his began to sparkle
Whispering, giggling his clan at far gonna twinkle

The flying colors’ everywhere

I rush, pushing the wagon; an impulse to flee
I chose my ways, but dejected; yet am free?
I rush to you memories down the lane
And a false proud popped out from cage

So the flying colors’ everywhere
As we have won it in truest sense!!

Your Life and this Wall!

Affairs, you had it all
You got it all somehow
Erecting along the waves
To go against the flow
You had it all!

Those dark nights and whispering air
Arrival signals!
Did no harm to anyone; playing fair
But unaware that a wall can grow
Somewhere
Yet you had it all!!

You moved ahead you lived
Leaving behind your shadows somehow
And left alone a little soul to appall
Exotic; he builds a wall
Joy of fractions and dead blow
You got it all!

And now,
No matter how many try to climb; and fall
Try to change, try to break the wall
Way too far the soul has gone
Signaling,
Don’t trust me, will ruin you when will fall

Affairs, you had it all
You got it all somehow
Erecting along the waves
Bouncing dancing against the flow
You had it all!!

The little adamant soul still frightens inside
The flinty wall!!

Bang bang!!

It’s been long since i wrote the Shimla – Reckong Peo bus trip. I think I never felt like writing after that may be I was too content with myself or with people from virtual world around. But today again I felt like betrayed again when the companion from virtual world forgot to tell me that I have gained nothing from last 4 months togetherness.

Anyways moving ahead, past one month has been a different experience all together. Weekdays are going working as usual and weekends were like drinking n all. Last Saturday I happen to go to a Mall in Gurgaon and there are some bars or pubs, whatever you called it, along the line of PVR cinema. This was first time for me and I was surprised to see what went inside those closed big door covered by big heavyweights’ called bouncers’. Under the heavy sound of DJ and crowed and beers and drinks of different kind and dancing girls pushing the drunks away and guys struggling to stand and wet floor; it’s a different life all together.

We went inside around 2000 hrs. The entry fee is 500 bucks and you get coupons of same amount to get yourself drink or something inside. We already had a beer outside. As the night came along, the crowed too started flowing like anything. Within an hour the entire floor was packed. This was first time for me so just danced and observed things around. Saw girls bargaining; dance with them was at 500 bucks and if you wanna have some shots it was a different price starting from 1500 bucks.

Do I call that a joy? May be it is.

But one thing is sure; inside you forget the world around you and just flow with the tunes of music. You get a companion as per your pocket and there is no regret on either side. The problem is for the badass like me, I was fully drunk and couldn’t even hold myself but then when I was romancing or was trying to romancing with music’s tune closing my eyes, and and all I could see was her face her eyes and all of her nothing else. So much crowed so much to enjoy yet alone, everyone was so strange and out of life.

Another thing I saw near the place where I live; there is some lonely stretch with a park along the road, some chakke who provide some services to their clients in open under the bunch of trees. I couldn’t gain courage to ask them the price and what all included in that service.

Tough days, but wish you have a wonderful trip there. Do some bang bang there as the name says!!

Let me Come to You!

Those big 'need you kind of sparkling eyes
Saying you must be doing something right
When holding 'would be betrayed hand
Caressing, walking around.
Eager I am; to be known
What happened there in the town!

This son of a bitch,
He talks and takes me there
But leaves me along the shore
Wondering I am; seeker but alone
My promises to him holds me tight
Intuitions, my vibes says you did right

The things that I don’t have hold on
I heard she has moved on,
And pearls of your eyes have drawn
That makes me miserable all the way down
What happened there in the town!

Hypocrite he is, a liar,
Says telling me the half truth
But me thinks his 'topic's phony
Snaps he sent look me too shabby
Let me garner more; you just hang on

Don’t howl my friend, welcome the dawn
Obliterate whatever happened there in the town!

Racing Life

Fire inside sullen mind
Strolling rays’ shining virgin mists
Wiggling creatures are lifting lids
Race has begun!!

Hopes’ smiling as the sun paints
Colorful cosmos, dream faints
Buoyant some

Rushing race going blind
Growing fire now blowing mind
Ready to break the wall;
Of past
Hitting and hitting, pushing the limits
Strolling rays’ shining virgin mists
Incredible Race!!

Rolling down pearls, briny!
Tilted head squeezes the body parts
Race is not meant for any halts
But for braves
Only to reach safely to our graves!!

For You!

So here I am;
Walking down the gallery,
Holding my hands in unison,
Trembling but begging for a permission,
Let me hold you once!

Up above are crossed stars
Or smiling moon tantalizes senses
‘Ignorance is bliss you say’
So be it; but it’s too late
How can I ever trust you again?

Fleeting time and,
Fiery yet glassy you,
Why colors’ of chameleons I say!
Changing;
Truth sails the ocean called life,

Bubbling heart
Demands to get what it craves for
But for now,
Tired head asks for your shoulder
Let it rest there once!

Longing peace, nothing more!!

Currently Reading

Just about to finish “The Fault In Our Stars” by John Green. It’s a beautifully written book, humors’ the reader with some great writings. Loved some of the phrases like ‘pain demands to be felt’, ‘starts has tendency to cross’ and many more..

Great Book!!

Bus Trip: Shimla – Reckong Peo

5th of July afternoon I woke with a horrible dream; felt like all alone in a barren ocean. So packed the bag with a wind cheater a towel a book some toiletry items and headed towards the Kashmiri Gate ISBT.

While in metro towards was thinking where to go. Uttarakhand or HP or J&K and chose HP randomly with a decision that first bus boarding towards anywhere with be my destination. I found a Shimla going bus and booked a ticket.

Reached Shimla next morning and saw a bus going towards Lippa, there is a Buddha Monastery in Lippa. The route goes through Rampur-Reckong Peo. It’s an adventurous route in itself, running along the Sutlej River. It was blocked in-between and the linking route was 25 kms more with sharp 360 degree bends where bus couldn’t turn in a single go. That was the best part of the journey. A pure work of hard work and craft on hard rock.

At evening reached Reckong Peo and decided to halt there. Like all the border areas, here too I could see all govt. officials, didn’t felt good so walked across the semi open market and boarded the last Shimla going bus at 0730pm.

Next morning I was in Shimla. Gave myself a tea party; hey c’mon it was my birthday!!

Initial plan was to go to Dehradun to visit a old buddy of mine to have a scooty ride to some watery place but the time crunch; first Dehradun going bus from there was suppose to reach at evening so decided to head back to Delhi.

Life still seems unreasonable sometime. It is like ending everything and start it again with all the freshness but as they say; time goes on’ so do everything else around us’. I didn’t want to be sitting alone at my empty smelly room on my birthday so was this trip. Though there was nothing to witness or something majestic about it but being with the road somewhat solved the problem.

I wish to have some good year to live by and most importantly have some close good companionship; yes, I know I have started talking about company, I think have lived a lot alone.

Happy Birthday to me!! Belated by 3 days now though!

Wondering Soul Inside

There was this insanity came over me recently, having bird’s eye view on myself. It’s like sitting on the rooftop and notice each n every movements of everything. Days are passing just like nothing; everything is so still calm that I often hear my heartbeats. I look at my hands, shivering though; feel the skin a gentle touch on my face ignites a spark, where on earth I am going! And at the same time I wonder some years down the line where I am going to be?

Traveling on DTC buses on this humid hot Delhi’s summer when temperature is crossing 45 degree Celsius like anything as like a normal thing to happen, then walking and looking at all the bandit queens with over-sized sunglasses gives a sensation inside my heart. A sensation of loneliness, of being left out of the race and at the same time telling me that you chose this path of being like this so why regretting of your decision.

Alas! Decisions are prone to accident like this, it’s the heart who has to sync with decisions’ else everything around us will look so deserted, so out of life.

And they say broken hearts are hard to repair that too if that causes coz of your decisions! There are so many other factors too. If that soul who is experiencing the foreign land with new companion, would have taken me into consideration or would have understood me or at least would have communicated consulted with me before choosing to go away, life would have been so different for me now. Off course I would have let the soul go on and move ahead. But cruel that soul chose to travel in two boats thus as they say ‘one foot cannot stand on two boats’ life bubbled up and left herself to float with the flow. And lucky that soul got to the shore and walked out happily towards a new life with brand new partner.

But what about those boats who stood with that soul all throughout, in happy times, in tough times! But then Who cares!!

A Note to Myself VI

In a mid of year 2014; it’s exactly the same how it started the year. Recent salary hike isn’t doing any justice to the pathetic life style. You know what, last night my room flooded with the tap water, that too me being inside. I was sleeping like hell, couldn’t even realize the sound of running water. I think I too was happy being flooded just like my Jaan must have got flooded at the same time, that too in foreign land (it was suppose to be the first night).

With that; there is no going out, no exploration though the ideas keep coming in my head but couldn’t plan right now. I have become so fearful and deary of myself that I am not able to realize what’s going on!

Recently I read Jiah Khan’s mysterious last letter posted on internet, man! How deep her love was that her own life was nothing. That made me thinking and left me sad.

So the SBI exam is coming up this month, as usual I am in a no mood to give it a do or die fight however at the same hopeful to do well.

Also, having a tough battle with this foolish bureaucracy to give me an identity a driving license or a passport or anything. Pity is I pay taxes to the govt. and they need a proof that I am Indian citizen to get these.

After living almost half of this year, what I have gained? I ask myself and the answer is nothing! It has been a sleep, get ready travel to work to work for 10-11 hours, just to go back to bed sobbing abusing. Where was the wrong I ask, what could have been done and how on earth I have come way too far with myself alone that I find nobody, not a single soul to tell me how it was!! Was my instinct wrong or I trusted the wrong soul to depend? That soul has landed to the foreign land leaving me all alone! Why I am adding it up? Do I need to let it go but how? It is a hard thing to do and looks impossible as of now.

Having said that though I have lost all the reasons of hope but somehow I have to keep breathing. Who knows what the morning will bring! May be a new me with bring new changes to myself, maybe a new energy flow will come, the new mornings ray of hope will bring a tide to wipe off all the memories just to fill up fresh breathings. But the ultimate question is when and how?

Reading Season

I have just finished reading two books “Don't Ask Any Old Bloke for Directions – by PG Tenzing” and “White Fang – by Jack London”. The former one is about a Motorbike touring across India, telling his travel tales mixed with how Indian govt. works. Jack is as usual in his finest imaginary swing and is a good read.

Next is “Call of the Wild – by Jack London”

A Note to Myself V

Does doing insane thing helps you to achieve something?

Last two weeks were full of experiments to find an answer of above. I find this true to the some extent, maybe there is nothing called absolute solution but sometime you need a slap on your face to regain the lost conscience. Even a sentence or a word can do that magic. Trust me on this! Intentionally I got that magic.

Here is how, I had one contact which I thought will understand, or at least will be the same what I left two and a half years ago; however, those firm and echoing words slapped very hard on my face saying like fuck off! Go get a life.  

And another one, as I have mentioned earlier, the facebook one! I came to know how unconvincing I am, how unexpressive I am, I couldn’t put my heart on words. Maybe it’s the uncertainty or an anjana talk it is, whatever it is, my heart doesn’t allows me to open up to strangers. Ultimately, I got those magic words slapping straight on my face.

So I have regained a bit of myself over these two weeks, however mornings are still full of weirdness and prays to hold her, see her, heard that lovely sleepy voice, to put my hand on face then crease falling hairs. Morning hours are just like this, mixed feelings of like end of the world, a free world. But when you already have touched the high point, below that bar is always dull of life.

Bike to Work.

Delhi’s temperature crossing 35 degree Celsius already and its going to be tough summer this time riding to work. It’s been two months and counting, not so regular though. Mornings are always better than nights, coz in my case no matter how hard I try to convince myself not to go cycling to work the previous night, but comes the next morning and I find myself ready to go to work in cycling attire.

And it’s fun to see kids racing with you, going ahead and you smile passing by when you hear "gear wali cycle to haraa dia". It gives an immense pride and joy seeing the irritated car drivers, shouting truck drivers and over enthusiastic truck conductors. Everyone turns back to you some with amazed faces, some in funny faces, some making fool of themselves. But at the end of the day you get a big relief of being survived and in full piece.

So the blame game continued with the slipped one!, facebook linked to someone self proclaimed adventurous person. Initial talk looks scary but at the same time having someone unknown listening to your heart is always good or safe, ohh no it’s not safe, when you know that the watchful eyes are there too. However, the interesting thing is some other’s prediction, gets you to think, analyze what went wrong and more importantly thought process gets a new perspective. But then can unknown persons sorrow/joy be your adventure?

All my thoughts, adventures are on hold. Doing double shift, sleeping, biking can engage you on weekdays but what about weekends? Two days of doing nothing fills nothing inside the dirty mind and makes every second like a year.